Confessions of a Former Fairytale Princess
I used to play Snow White at kids’ parties. Now I do stand up comedy at bridal showers. I’ve built my career on the concept of “happily ever after.”
I loved being a princess. I loved the frilly dresses, the golden crowns, glass slippers, and best of all the way everyone held the door open and bowed down to me as I entered a room. The children and hair dye kept me young. I got away with it until I turned forty, then I passed my crown off to the twenty year olds and took up my magic wand to play the Fairy Godmother.
I was married at twenty seven. I had a cinderella type gown, amazing jewelled crown and veil and everything else that goes with a fairy tale wedding. We got married in a beautiful Inn in Maine and his uncle was the priest.
Despite the perfect wedding, the marriage had its challenges. We were two starving artists and the pressures of survival took their toll. We gave birth to a special needs child who took all our energy and we never had money for a sitter for date night. Our relationship sufferred. We were married sixteen years, in couples’ therapy for twenty. At the end the couples’ therapist said, “I don’t know about you guys, but I need to see other people.” I surrendered and my best girlfriend drove me to court to file for divorce.
I did my divorce myself without a lawyer. I went to court 9 times because I had to keep fixing my mistakes. I signed one paper to get married and twenty eight to get divorced. It took a year and a half. May 31st of 2014, memorial day, my divorce was final and my marriage was dead.
Even though I was exhausted from my divorce and now a single mom, I did not take any downtime. I confessed to a good friend of mine that I had feelings for him. At first my friend was hesitant to take our relationship to the next level because of my raw emotions and challenging child. I gave him a coin with an angel on it that said “harmony” and explained that all I ever wanted to bring him was peace, love and harmony. He soon reciprocated my sentiments. I jumped in head first and fell head over heels in love.
He is truly a prince charming, or as my Jewish American Princess friends would say, a mensch. He is tall, dark and handsome, intelligent, successful and a true gentleman. He is a brilliant comedian, one of the best working today. He is also deeply compassionate and sensitive. He has a special needs son of his own. We completely got each other. After all these years, I had found my soul mate. It was well worth the wait.
It is an understatement to say he treated me like a princess. He was extremely generous with dates and gifts and wouldn’t dream of letting me walk anywhere in the cold. He would always go get the “carriage” and bring it right to the door. He cooked me fillet mignon and pesto. When I didn’t have health insurance, he spent 5 hours removing a piece of glass that was stuck in my foot so I wouldn’t rack up a bill at the emergency room. He took me on the road and I opened for him. He always upgraded to the jacuzzi room. He planned a trip to Paris for us. We even did an intimacy workshop at Omega! For my son’s birthday, he took us to see the last remake of “Cinderella.” My boy adored him and better yet, worshiped his son. I was walking on air.
Then one fateful day during an extremely romantic Valentine’s day gig weekend, while staying with his father, my son had a manic episode due to a recent change in meds. I was a complete mess worrying about my son, and it ruined our weekend. To my utter shock, the love of my life broke up with me. It felt like someone hit me on the back of the head with a board. I was heartbroken. No one had broken up with me since I was eleven! He insisted that he couldn’t maintain peace of mind with all the complications in both of our lives. He went on to say that two special needs kids are just too overwhelming. I promised to take better care of myself and my son so he wouldn’t feel he had to take on the burden. There was no convincing him.
Somehow I had lost the energy of the harmony coin. How did I let this man who was beyond my wildest dreams slip through my fingers? After three days of crying, I picked myself up and began to embrace life again. Even though I can’t imagine being with anyone else, it is good to take a break. My little boy needs me and I’m figuring out who I am without a partner for the first time in 23 years. I’m ironically empowered to focus on all of the things I put aside when I was in a relationship: writing, my girlfriends, running with my golden retriever...He broke my heart, but he didn’t break me. I am happy to be the Fairy Godmother with a powerful wand to create my own wonderful reality! And of course I still believe in true love and “happily ever after.” I hope he returns on his white horse so I can share my growth with him. Either way, God hasn’t finished writing my love story yet.